A turtle who happened to sneeze.

Once upon a time, a sea turtle lived deep in the abyss of a vast oceanic expanse.

The very fact that it lived so deep without much light, made the weather down there very very cold.

As expected, the sea turtle caught the infamous cold. It could barely come to terms with the cold, and it sneezed.

Complete darkness. It took a few seconds for it to realize that it was inside it's shell. The sneeze had pushed it's head in. Well..

It pushed itself out at once. It sneezed. But this time it managed to anticipate the back force.

The warm currents from the east passed by. The turtle fought the cold. And won.

Note that the turtle fought the cold and not the sneeze.

300

480 B.C

Xerxes I prepared this for years. He amassed army so staggering that every single day, the sheer force in its numbers was remembered by some King in his slumber. Nightmare was merely the beginning. Xerxes I, inspite having older brothers, had so powerful an influence that he ascended the throne. So determined was he to avenge the Greek, he prepared for 4 long years. He was to fight many battles before he could fulfill his dreams of burning Athens in his fire.

Spartans. The warriors who were trained from birth with a singular goal in mind - to defeat the enemy. Be it man or animal or God himself.

The finest soldiers from Sparta were called to defend their nation and were instructed to engage with the Persian Army at the Vale of Tempe. The Persian army, cleverly made a detour around the gorge.
The Greek's when informed of the advancements, concluded with a strategy to intercept Xerxes I army at Thermopylae ( Thermopylai ).
As the Spartans prepared with their excercises of fitness and grace in a ritualistic fashion, Xerxes sent scouts to gauge his enemy. The scout returned back and reported to Xerxes, the observations of the athletic excercises and the ritual of combing hair by the Greek and thier extremely miniscule number. This was confirmed once again by Xerxes who could not believe it.
He expected the Greeks to get back in no time. He waited for their retreat. He waited for 4 long days for the Spartans retreat from the narrow pass of Thermopylae. When they did not, he was furious and considered it to be impudent and obstinate. He ordered his army to proceed to the pass. Thus began the Battle of Thermopylai.
This battle, lasting 3 days is one of the most valiant battles ever fought.
300 Spartans. 300 Spartans along with Thebans and Thespians fought against a massive army far much greater in number, about a MILLION and held them up for 3 days. The battle proved that human beings were many, but the men were few. Led by the Spartan King Leonidas, the Greek's fought with courage never heard before. The dark and brooding future of the Spartans ending with inevitable death did not deter them from doing everything they could to stop the Barbarians. It is said that even when the Greek's lost their spears and shields, they fought barehands and drove the Persians away.

Dienekes, the Spartan who was praised to be the best, when told by one of the men from Trachis - the enemy are so great in number that when they shower their arrows, the multitude of arrows blot out the sun, he replied in a laconic way, - this is good news for then we will fight in the shade.

The dispropotionate losses on the Persian side was unbearable by Xerxes I. This loss of his only continued to be more, and finally ended with his retreat.

Nobody but Frank Miller could have narrated the history in the dark and gripping way it is supposed to be. And to bring Miller's imagination into celluloid is a tough task. And with what the trailers promise, I say it's done as it should be.

The man who happened to press the button

Master Webster was really really late for work. The feeling of misery was constantly driven up every time he happened to look at his watch. He was sweating and as he wiped his watery hands up his brilliantined hair, he gulped nothing down his throat.
He stepped across the bustle and hustle of the city streets and crossed the road.
As he entered the office building, a blonde girl, in her early twenties just stopped him.
She was furious by her tone and menacing by her looks.
"You bastard!" she shouted.
Webster was taken aback. He knew he was late for work but he never knew such intense treatment by a really beautiful looking girl was a standard operating procedure.
He mumbled a few words.
"You pressed the button" she shouted again.
Webster was puzzled. He was late but he never pressed the button. Whichever the button was.
He answered "Which button my lady?"
"How rude!!" she shouted again, and pointed to the third button from the top on her glossy new work wear.
Considering the precise location of the button, Master Webster was left wishing that he had pressed the button but he tried to hide his desires and replied very politely stating that his hands very never really near the pinpointed location.
Much to his surprise, he was slapped very hard on his tender cheeks that left him wishing even more that he had actually pressed the button. But he rubbed his cheeks gently, looked around at the perplexed faces of many and walked away.
As he reached his cabin, his boss came barging towards him.
Of course, Master Webster thought. What else was he expecting...
"You, you bastard!" his boss shouted.
"Excuse me sir!" Webster exclaimed.
"You pushed the button!" was the immediate reply.
Master Webster was no scientist from Oxford. But he was a logical thinker and a true Sherlock Holmes fanatic. He put two and two together and he replied "With all due respect sir, I was never involved in pressing the button. It was an absolute false allegation made upon me sir and I would really like to reconsider"
"But I just saw you press the button" the boss said pointing at the coffee vending machine which relentlessly seemed to pour coffee down the floor.
"I don't believe this sire. I did not press the button at all!" he said quickly trying to understand the situation. His Sherlock Holmes ability had homed in on a completely different scenario.
"Very well. But make sure you don't push the button again" said the voice trailing off the door.

Master Webster was trying hard to get in terms with reality with a cup of coffee in his hand that he carefully had gotten delivered from one of his friends. He finally pushed the button. "Ding dong" the bell rang. He painfully waited for his personal assistant to turn up.
Two minutes later, he pushed the button again, the sound faintly ringing in his head once again.
He looked at the door. No one appeared.
Master Webster was completely devastated at the state of affairs. His personal assistant never turned up even after him pushing the button.
-FI-

A reckoning from all corners.

The world wants me to change. I myself want to change. But what the world wants me to change into is not I want to change into. Get it??
It's like,
World.Change( me ) <> Me.Change( me )
Pardon the rude intrusion of computer science into such a philosophical discussion.
But I suppose it helps grasping the situation better.
Everyday I spend my time getting hurt within. There's seems no solution.
And as a denouement, I say this : Change is coming. Sometime soon. For better or for worse, no one knows.

A Gem of a framework

It was just another day for me as I returned home from work. Little did I know how special the day was. Now that I have already given away to my readers the fact that the day was special, it makes little sense to prolong the reasons that made it so. A fellow mate of mine, known mostly by his name - Ananth ( a bit more by reputation which surely enough, precedes him ), called me up late in the night. I was unfortunately tired and sleep was but natural at such times of despair. But Ananth was so excited about the new knowledge being imparted in his office, he choose to mention it to me. Unfortunately, I was the wrong guy at that wee hour for sleep was quickly overpowering my hearing senses. He was relentless. I too was trying hard to listen. And so I did, half asleep.
He was mentioning about a framework that was developed over Ruby, which made life really really easy. Or so he claimed. I chose to agree without thinking why. I just wanted to go to sleep.
But, amidst noises, I heard him say things like, you just name the database as the plural of the things that it is supposed to contain and name the class as a singular in the framework, and viola! the framework strings both of them together. This was something that caught my attention like a two piece adorned on a model. Even in my sleep. But I ignored the amazement and postponed it a later date in my mind. Next day, I couldn't stop thinking about this framework that intelligently figures out the plurals of the english languages to say the least. I called Ananth and apologetically asked him to repeat himself. And he gladly did.

And what began next was a beautiful relationship. I just fell in love with the framework. I couldn't stop thinking about the power it weilded. There was beauty, grace and power in the framework that I had seen in none other. It demanded attention, for it was the thing of the future. To end the beating around the bush, the framework is RubyOnRails. It is based on the scripting language Ruby, and delivers something that even .NET hasn't been able to. It is used to develop web applications and as its authors claim, it's surprisingly simple. Pluralization is just a tiny bit of its intelligence. You will be amazed to know how it can, with a single line that you type, provide you with CRUD web operations. [ Create, Read, Update, Delete ]. You do not have to code a single line of database access or SQL statements as long as you do your design right.
The ideology of using the MODELS, VIEW, CONTROLLER architecture explains itself the very minute you understand the framework's operation.

I think that's enough jargon for everyone. I myself do not wish to convert my blog into a promotion site but this was just irresistable. I think I am looking at the future when I see the framework. So, here's to future! Cheers! And all thanks to Ananth, who chose not to let a tired guy sleep and make his day special.

My Superhero. Turtleneck.

Superheros are not born superheros. They become one. However strong an argument you put across, its very hard to prove that Superman would have been the same superhero if he had chosen not to use his superpowers for the good of mankind. On the same lines of argument - if Batman had not vowed to avenge his parents death and fight for justice. Even Phantom. The list continues singularly into proving the above point.
But consider the superheros that actually exist. Along one's journey of life, there befalls various situations that brings forth the superhero in them. Its a conscious choice, to act like one or to walk away from the situation. We lack a Superman in our world but there are many who compensate for his absence. These real life superheros are special. Much like Superman. They too had their chance to make the decision. And they did take the one that meant less to them and more to someone else.
Turtleneck is one of them. Although she is oddly named, her powers are not to be underestimated. She is powerful, intelligent, and has the panache that makes her special. Her peculiar name is worth a few notes. Her fashion sense is always in vogue and keeps track of dépêche mode. Its pretty easy to guess, that she wears Turtleneck garments and so the origin of her name. She still is a bit shy about the fame factor, notwithstanding, very famous among the circles. My sympathies for those who do not know her. There have been numerous times when she has rescued me from imminent danger. Its hard not to be indebted to her. Its like owing mafia a favor. Not that she is mafia, but thats the feeling that lingers around. You would want to help back but whatever you do, its not really matching the standards you see. Why blog about her?
Well, this is an ode to Turtleneck for all the superhero stuff she manages even afer doing her day to day chores. :)

The Tower of Babel is to be resurrected. Time for work.

Finally. I finally got back to blogging after a seemingly long barren stretch. Drastic changes in life happens only for one reason, that being an obscure one.
The Tower of Babel has finally gotten what it deserved. A community on Orkut. You might want to reconsider the importance of the monument. It was a symbol that was subtle in its methods to bring forth the truth of God's fear of man. Is that what I truly believe in, you ask. Well, I do. See, this is a complicated 'religion' to explain. I may sound hypocratic when I confess my dislike for religions and the dichotomy they spread in the society. But I am not.
Justifications follow.
Its a religion for it derives all the conclusions from Bible [ various ones ]. Bible being a religious book cannot be a basis for a scientific theory. Well, so I called what I fetch from the Bible as a religion.
This is more to do with the man's self realization about his capacities than embracing the existance of God or his fears. The existance of God. Deny it or accept it.
All I would want to convey is that man is all powerful. There is god within him.

For the latter half of this post, let me rant about how there is no coffee vending machine in my new work place. Or rather not.
I just can't forget how amazing my first day of work was. I do not mean it in terms of the work I was given. It was more on the lines of the working of the company. While most [ actually all ] other companies indulge in a few days of slack before they provide their new employees facilities, mine was just too punctual. Dumbfounded was I when I saw my new cubicle neatly arranged, with my visiting cards in a box, my books placed neatly, my computer flushed off its dilapidated data & with the hdd new and sparkling, and last but not the least, whiteboard cleaned up to the last corner. All this was on the very first day.
And not to mention the team I am in. The best team possible hardly does justice. Enough blabber I suppose.
Final words : Just smile and wave boys, just smile and wave...

Malamal Weekly - I did win a lot of "Fun".

What a movie! Priyadarshan has done it again. This movie never had any big marketing strategies for itself. I came to know about this movie when I saw a poster in REX theater. Askance glances at movie posters has almost become involuntary for me. This was just another one of those times. The first striking fact was the title. "Malamal Weekly" sounds a bit ackward, tad funny, and something that achieves to grasp the attention of a normal human being for more than the average time.
Ad-Hoc mental notes were made, a debate was raged in the cerebrum's court room and the verdict was out. "We need to watch this movie!". All that took a little less than the time Aquaguard takes to purify.
But mental notes are like tawdry slates that are provided to 1st grade kids. Lot of things get scribbled and they get erased over and over in a short period of time. "Malamal Weekly" turned out to be one of those unfortunate cases never to be remembered again. Lost into the murky depths of the brains' deepest corner - the well of forgotten thoughts.
But fate had its own game to play. It got us another chance encounter with "MW" yesterday.
It was a very peculiar situation as we ( your's truly and Lakshmi and Lakshmi ) ( did you say redundancy?? No No.. you are mistaken. They are two seperate entities. Freaks to be more precise. But hey, I am no different. ) were supposed to go for "Ice Age:The Meltdown".

"Sold Out." the guy at the ticket counter explained after staring at the monitor for a while and then taking time off to ruminate on the extreme amount of information that he imbibed from it.
As average normal human beings, we had to exclaim with a question.
"Sold Out???"!!!!
"Awww man".
Something that the ticket man did not dream about was three ticket crazy freaks intercepting him at very inoppurtune and busy moments asking if there were any cancellations.
Nothing worked. The only other choices that we had included "Pyare Mohan", "Hamko Deewana Kar Gaye" and "Malamal Weekly". Unable to choose between what we considered to be equally bad movies, we wiped out hopes with the remaining tissues at our disposal and decided with much sadness that it would just be food today.
Transit was a crowded place as usual. Hoards of janta hovering around the cosmic food chains with their exorbitantly over-priced oily dishes. It was at this moment the absolute ad-hoc-ness of the plan kicked in. While one Lakshmi ( LSC from now onwards ) waited with what little patience she had for a plate of Idly, we decided it would be "Malamal Weekly".
We bought tickets while LSC gobbled up Kenya's share of Idly's and we left lazily to the movie hall. We were late, but we did not care much for we assumed the movie to be bad.
Considering the game of fate, it was not much surprising that we had a stroke of luck. The movie began as soon as we entered the hall. We had not missed anything.
What began as a slow paced idyllic narrative soon turned into a fast paced, gripping ( in the comical sense ) and brilliantly plot driven movie. Acting was at its best. Every character is perfect. As perfect as the 10 that Aishwarya Rai gets from everyone. The entire movie blankets you with hilarious settings, that seem realistically accidental and yet so hilarious, much like the original Pink Panther. ( the current one has got reviews that not just hint, but point with neon lights at "bad" ) Paresh Rawal and OmPuri steal the show. A bit of melodrama put everyone in the audience off a little while after the interval. But the fun was back again to provide the movie with a hilarious ending. How much of it is believable? Well, definitely some bit. But some bits are just to far fetched. But I say, this was one of the hindi movies that despite all the loose ends has successfully provided me enough worth for my money. I definitely had fun and there is no denying that. And fun without popcorn - being munched for the much needed entertainment.
We, the trio marched out of the movie hall with smiles on our faces and wondering how all of this happened. Guess Ice Age 2 will have to wait.
Get yourself a break. Catch this movie. Long due I must say.
Signing off,
Me.

Holy Cow.

Cow's are holy. Actually, thats all I wanted to say. But being the smart arse I am, I will continue to say more.
I want to write the review for so many good movies that I have been fortunate enough to watch. But there are so many of them that it will take me eternity to really do justice to each one of them.
So, here goes the list of movies. Yup. That's all the justice I am willing to do. I will put up a list with a brief review of it.


MotorCycle Diaries - Good movie. Eye opener.


Sideways - Character exploration.


Serenity - Science Fiction at a higher level. A bit more on this movie. If you are expecting lot of gadgets and lot of fighting with Chinese martial art moves and galactic wars, you will be slightly disappointed to know it does not have much of it. Its something really different. Watch :)


Mr and Mrs Iyer- Something that I had missed watching due to my developed dislike towards Hindi mainstream cinema. Don't know how the dislike got transferred to art movies also. After many threats of barbaric nature from Dips, I finally watched the movie. Brilliant. If you are open for a debate, ask me what were the minor mistakes in the movie and I will be glad to talk about it.


15 Park Avenue - Well, well, not much of a surprise eh? This one is again from Aparna Sen and its really different. There are a lot of things that could have been done better. But at the end of the day, I am not unhappy about the movie. Its good. Just say a word about this and I will bog you with arguments. Again, I owe this one to Dips_Spid.


Crash - What a movie exclamation. Brilliant. Absolutely marvelous. Watch it if you can.


March of the Penguins - Nature at its best. Cool ( pun intended ). Morgan Freeman's narrative keeps you up through the movie, taking you through the lives of all the emperor penguins. Man they are amazing.


Donnie Darko - I still don't get what the movie tries to convey at the end. But this in no way means the movie is not good. Its a fine movie. Very weird. You will be left thinking about its implications long after it has ended and your popcorn supply is over.


The Party - Hilarious. Hilarious is not really justice to Peter Sellers as he has been praised more than just "hilarious". 2 hrs of absolute fun. You might remember Peter Sellers from Pink Panther the original movie. Not the one with Beyonce which seemingly has a bleak future in the box office according to what I have read.


Guess I will end at this. One thing that I have realized is - Long written materials are mostly ignored. They are more comparable to my microwave manual.
:)